“…Often as one [parent] lets go the conflict … and advances the goal of peace, the other parent is almost forced to accommodate too or risk showing themselves as ungrateful, mean-spirited or inflexible.”

This is an excerpt from a blog written by Gary Direnfeld, a social worker, on the effects of giving your children peace for Christmas, rather than fighting for what may be “fair” parenting time over the holidays (which he describes as “winning the battle but losing the war”).

He sums up the current research: “…That child, come adulthood, eventually develops a realistic appraisal of both parents and comes to appreciate the sacrifice of one in the face of the demands of the other. That adult child, no long bound by parental control can then re-right the balance and chose to prioritize the parent that more facilitated peace.”

And asks parents to put their children first: “…Imagine your gift to your child, peaceful co-existence with their other parent, and the return on that investment in your child’s ability to concentrate at school, form relationships and then be appreciative of your choices in their adult life.”

The full post can be read here.